Diet Coke, What?

AF Day 2

I slept 7 hours, 2 private classes before 11 topping it off with some public marketing with the woman who live in the Bay area. Walked home and exhausted. The classes were fun and challenging, and my god my body is sore. I walk everywhere and live on a hill that taxis sometimes refuse to go up. I have heard, no senorita no pase, many times when it was the last thing I wanted to here. Now I need to buy tennis shoes and socks, wth I live in a place where shoes are optional. This is on the rock shoe shopping experience choices are 2nd hand, random street vendors, a new Payless store or order from the states and pay $14 for 2 week delivery and hope for the best. I really hate shopping this way and this totally took away that coping addiction.

Talking about old addictions, I had a Diet Coke yesterday and it was awesome, the first one in a nickel if not longer. I loved and hated it, my body still appreciates the fizziness and I’ll get a zit, every time. Today if you pop open a can of anything around me, my head literally lifts and I think about a delicious cold fizzy Diet Coke. It’s almost romantic, I’m in trouble with that one for mood swings and feeling like crap. A perfect example of why I want Karen to not be an option to hang out with, I’m done entertaining her. Why can I let Diet Coke go but not this coping tool? I think it’s about the replacement of the time or interests. When I have things going on drinking falls to the wayside. When I go away for various trainings/events they tend to happen in communities that lives vegan/vegetarian and sober lifestyles and you are expected to honor that as well. I was happy to let go and give it a go

I lived in Sweden for a hot minute, drinking wasn’t an option too often until later when the midnight sun was in effect. I know that is when my drinking became the worst, tears welled up typing that. It was such a hurtful and amazing time, I was sick from a list of lies that was highlighted with some of the best moments of us. The front row of the roller coaster with a Dr. who was ready to order it. Big melty body breath and, a tear made it’s way free.

Back to today, my clients today are all truly amazing people and super thankful they are here. I considered lowering my prices to match my peers and it paid off not to hold value in that. They are compassionate, generous people and make me feel appreciated not like the help. I also want to get folded back into the community in the bay since I have been estranged and only professional at times during this adventure. I live in a very safe, breathtaking location where people are retired so our paths don’t always intertwine since I’m still working and 15/20 years their junior.

The rest of the day was computer stuff and chatting with a few people about a car! I think it will happen relatively soon and ready for it. This is the best worst time to get a car. It will give me so much freedom and I think that will set me free. I was thinking about why I hadn’t bought a car for a while and the top two reasons are taxis are way cheaper than having a car and I was afraid to drink and drive. I have been overnight for alcohol-related reasons for more than a time or two. Yeah, that should be my sign right? I hear it loud and clear. Onward to another sober day tomorrow. 

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