Difference a Day Can Make

The difference a day can make can be outstanding.  Yesterday started off with a lot of reservations and feeling low and ended up being one of the better days in a long time. 

I’m loving my morning routine, it 100% puts me in a good mood and path for the day. I left for work a little nervous about what will happen for the rest of the day. I felt lethargic and wanting to drink to soothe my mind. The walk to work was refreshing like always puts me in a good mood to keep working out.  Walking has to be one of the best mood boosters freely available and will be excited when it is a choice.

Class went well, sadly one student is down due to an ankle injury and he will be out for some time.  Another private is leaving the rock on Monday so I need to find that missing weekly $60 elsewhere. It hurts and makes me feel so small that this minimal amount is impacting me so much. Another little reminder that I need to keep exploring other options for revenue flow. 

While teaching a friend came running along the beachfront and announced a rock favorite died of a heart attack. I have mixed feelings about this and not shocked. He was cruisin for a bruisin for some time, with COVID lockdown he had taken it to the next level out of boredom. I’m absolutely sad he passed but not surprised in the slightest, more of a wow that’s too bad. He liked to party and not watching his health, this is a deadly combination that happens enough on the rock that it’s a thing sadly. He was one of the first people I knew on here and always enjoyed our chats. However, behind closed doors, he was no gentleman. I’ve seen his girlfriends with bruises, had to tell him to wipe his nose more than once and all the other goodness that comes with that lifestyle. The coconut tree telephone line whispers how he came to the rock to film porn but that ended tragically, the ending was very public and sad. As the day unfolded people reminisced how great he was and all the nice things as expected. I received phone calls, everyone brought it up within minutes of the meeting, etc… It was all a buzz on the rock but I wondered did they not know, how could they not and today simply turn a blind eye? At the end of the night a friend brought this point up and we agreed on your mutual feelings. Values and morals are forgiven often if you stick around long enough. He was fun no doubt, always a gentleman to me but once you hit people on the regular that negates almost any good doing in my book. 

Ok, back to the flow of the day with amazing news. After class vibes buzzing all around me, dripping with sweat and sandy feet I walk into his cool office ready to get the hammer of no’s if we meet at all. I’ve been trying to connect with him for 3 or 4 weeks now, numerous unanswered messages that were all driving me to feel unimportant, and ready to be kicked out of the hotel. Yes, yes, yes I know I’m dramatic but I felt this in my soul and was ready to give up. I had vented to a few people I need to let this gig go and was prepared to do so. I show up late by a few minutes and he was calm, happy to see me and present. In the recent past our meetings are squeezed in, he is busy on his phone and rushed in and out. We talked for 30 minutes, more than I hoped for, and all yeses plus more. I couldn’t believe it. I’m an optimistic person typically but after hanging with Karen I tend to have low self-esteem and think the sky is falling. Along with the normal banter, we discuss the fitness classes, massage, and spa opportunities for me. I was not allowed to massage on the property because of the spa owners and thanks to a couple of incidents this has changed. Today had to be one of the best meetings we have had in a long time and it felt amazing. My faith has been restored with the hotel. He requested my adjustments swiftly, thanked me for working hard, and said no more meetings just stop by. My sincere hope is this continues to be our dynamic. 

Feeling renewed after the meeting I didn’t even think of Karen and walked by the Captians without picking her up. I was going to go see my friends and have fun for the day. I have not done this in a long time. I wish I had a car and was hesitant to go out since I would be stuck waiting on my rides as they drink. I really needed to get out of this house and be around people my age and stage of life. I start to become nervous and teeter-tottering about staying in or going out. I reached out to Mrs. B and all is good.  She is such an amazing human and not a big drinker. We meet up with a few other good people, loosely plan out some work coming up, and her birthday this weekend. I can’t believe I was thinking of staying home alone to drink and not be here. 

The bbq pool party we met at was a fundraiser for bail money. A local friend was in jail for a trivial amount of marijuana. The police are asking for over $1,000 and threatening to send him to the mainland. I promise you no one wants to go to the mainland right now much less prison. Ever watch the shows about the world’s most dangerous prisons? Well, this place has been featured several times. A lawyer shared with me the police have no record of him being there and the bail money would never be logged.  One of the negatives and sometimes a plus is the corruption that goes on here. It’s nice knowing cash can get you out of almost anything here but that goes for people who may harm you as well.  Numerous murders with no resolution, especially when it comes to women.  

Almost sunset we all boogie over to the going away party. More great news for the day the curfew was extended from 5 pm to 8 pm as of, still no circulation on the weekends damn it. We watch the sunset together for the first time in ages and it was amazing.  Not the sunset itself but to be with people in a bar like old times minus tourists. I was looking cute in a dress, wearing mascara, jewelry and feeling good being out and about. (Why did I want to stay home alone with Karen again?) My typical go to outfit is yoga pants or a bikini with no makeup. Since I walk everywhere in the tropics I can’t wear makeup or anything that I can’t sweat through. I finally meet up with my ride home and can relax almost.  This is the most people I have seen in some time and it is so refreshing to be out of the web of the Bay.  My friend is still hitting on me after numerous nos so I need to hold that boundary or he will take a mile.

I did have a few drinks and not sure why I did. I’m not going to think about it too much, more be the observer right now. I texted Mr. USA and passed out at 8:30 pm.  My sleep was terrible and up super early again today. This alone is worth not drinking and will stay on that target today.  

Off to get the day started and it’s a good day ahead. Work with my pool merfriends, diving, and then hanging with my life coach.  I really can love my life here if I can let Karen go. 

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